And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided…(3:103)

Upbringing of Children

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عَنِ ابْن عُمَرَ رَضِیَ اﷲُ عَنْہٗ أَنَّ النَّبِیَّ صَلَّی اللّٰہٗ عَلَیْہِ وَسَلَّمَ قَاَلَ : ’’لَا یَسْتَرْعِیْ اللّٰہٗ تَبَارَکَ وَ تَعَالیٰ عَبْداً رَعِیَّۃً قَلَّتْ اَوْ کَثُرَ تْ اِلاَّ سَأَلَہٗ اﷲ تَبَارَکَ وَتَعَالیٰ عَنْھَا یَوْمَ القِیَامَۃِ اَقَامَ فِیْھَا أمْرَ اﷲ تَبَارَکَ وَ تَعَالیٰ اَمْ اَضَاعَۃٗ حَتّٰی یَسْاَلُہٗ عَنْ أَھَلِ بَیْتِہٖ خَاصَّۃً(مسند احمد)

“Hazrat Abdullah Bin Umar ؓnarrates that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said, “When Allah, the Almighty intends to grant someone ruling over some of his servants, either they are in minority or majority, on the Day of Judgment, they will be questioned by Allah, the Almighty about his subjects. He will be questioned either he implemented religious commandments among them or violated them. He will be questioned even about his family members (wife and children).”


Through the tradition appearing above, we come to know that each and everyone who is appointed as a leader or responsible of some individuals either his subjects are in minor or major quantity, he is counted to be responsible for meeting their worldly needs just as the way he is responsible for meeting their religious needs. It will be on the Day of Judgment that he will be questioned if he implemented Allah’s ordinances among his subjects or neglected them.

The same thing has been explained in another tradition which goes like this: The Holy Prophet ﷺ said, “Everyone of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband’s house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it.” I heard that from Allah’s Apostle and I think that the Prophet also said, “A man is a guardian of his father’s property and is responsible for it, so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care.” ” (Muslim)

Since, the whole system of family is based on the wives and husbands and their children as well as the entire society comes into existence through different families, the Holy Prophet ﷺ has strongly recommended the ubringing of the basic individuals of the society as he is reported to have said:

اَکْرِمُوْا اَوْلَادَکُمْ وَ اَحْسِنُوْا اَدَبَھُمْ

“Respect your children and discipline them.” (Ibne Majah).

In another tradition he said,

No one can give a better present to his offspring than teaching him good discipline.

The word used ‘حسن ادب’ here refers to good education and upbringing. It the responsibility of parents to give a beautiful name to their children after their birth and throw out a party on seventh day of their birth as well as teach them Kalimah when they begin to speak and narrate to them the moral stories of the Apostles and pious people. More importantly, there should also be developed an interest in them to perform Salah when they are 7 years old and punish them not doing so when they are 10 years of age so that they realize the fact that he will be deprived of the love and affection of his parents if he is not punctual of Salah.

As a matter of fact, the effects of upbringing children are not confined only to the life of this mortal world, rather, the parents continue receiving the reward of their children’s righteous deeds and prayers as also expounded by the Holy Prophet ﷺ, he said:

إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثَةٍ إِلَّا مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ

“When a man dies, his acts come to an end, but three, recurring charity, or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious son, who prays for him (for the deceased.)” (Tirmizi)

Similarly, when it comes to the upbringing particularly those of girls, he said,

If anyone cares for three daughters, disciplines them, marries them, and does good to them, he will go to Paradise.(Ahmad)

Hazrat Ibne Abbas ؓ, the narrator of this Hadith says that if someone asked the Holy Prophet ﷺ regarding the virtues of upbringing of one girl, he would give him the same reply.

In the same way, once the Holy Prophet ﷺ said,

Anyone who had been put into trial with regard to the girls and, in response to it, he behaved them well, they will be a hurdle for him to be doomed to Hell. (Tirmizi)

Through all the traditions mentioned above, we come to a conclusion that the success in the world Hereafter is dependent on the upbringing of children in the same way as equipping the children with education and upbringing guarantee the very existence of a wholesome and healthy society. It is for this reason that Allah, the Almighty addressed the believers in the Holy Qura’n saying:[Quran 66 6-6 en]

In his book, ‘Ihya-ul-Uloom’, Imam Ghazali ؓ says:

When a father saves his child against the worldly fire, then it is more important for him to save him against the Hell-fire. The best way for him to do so is to jewel him with Islamic lifestyle, educate him good conducts and get him acquainted with Islamic injunctions.

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