عَنْ اَبِیْ ھُرَیْرَۃَؓ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُوْلُ اﷲِ ﷺ ’’اِسْتوْصُوْا بِالنِّسَائِ خَیْراً فَاِنَّ الْمَرْأَۃَ خُیْراً فَاِنَّ الْمَرْأۃَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعَ وَ اِنَّ اعْوَجَ شَئْیٍ فِی الضِّلَعِ اَعْلَاہُ فَاِنْ ذَھَبْتَ تُقِیْمُہٗ کَسَرْتَہٗ وَ اِنْ تَرَکْتَہٗ لَمْ یَزَلْ اَعْوَجَ فَاَسْتَوْصُوْا بِالنِّسَائِ‘‘(صحیح بخاری کتاب الانبیاء ، صحیح مسلم کتاب الرضاع)
Narrated Abu Hurairahؓ: Allah ‘s Apostle ﷺ said, “Treat women nicely, for a woman is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely.”
Explanation:
The domestic life provides us with the foundation of Islamic social system of life. On the other hand, the house is considered to be a small kingdom where the power is given to both the parties i.e. the spouses. There are also some rights for both of them. Hence, when they fulfill their responsibilities as required, it, besides guaranteeing a successful marital life also forms a wholesome and healthy society.
As a matter of fact, no collective system is supposed to be successful unless and until there is no familiarity and communion in between it each and every part. Similarly, the success of marital life is not expected unless the members (spouses) of this institute do not have love for each other.
The main objective of mentioning the prophetic tradition appearing above is that there has been already pointed out to one aspect which can save a happy marital life against any harm. No doubt, in case anyone bears this tradition in his mind, he will try to neglect and overlook the mistakes committed by his wife either knowingly or unknowingly considering it a part of her nature. Thus, the hard experiences of their marital life cease to exist gradually. More importantly, as a matter of fact, being utmost cautious against any harmful thing is beneficial before it causes any harm.
It is must to know some things about how to make one’s marital life happy? In fact, there is no human-being (excluding prophets) on the face of this earth who is totally a combination of good qualities, rather he is the combination of both good and bad characteristics. As for a believing husband, the Holy Prophet ﷺ is reported to have instructed him to keep the good characteristics of his wife in his view even if he does not like any of her bad one, but there may be some of her good characteristic which he may like. Only if his taste does not allow him to like the unintentional bad things of his life, at least, he can feel comfortable through her other good characteristics. It is not good for a husband to express his hate and contempt due to an ordinary weak point or unintentional bad characteristics of her wife.
It is one of the good qualities of Islam that it has furnished us with all the good qualities and characteristics which make a husband a “good” husband and a wife, “the most valuable asset of the world.”
The Holy Prophet ﷺ did not only taught us the effective formulas and tricks of making our marital lives successful, rather, he himself was an exemplary and practical model in this regard. He left no aspect of life untouched either it is about maintaining justice between one’s wife or keeping good relations with one’s family or meeting the requirements of one’s house. He has really left for us an exemplary model for us in every walk of our social life as it appears in a tradition, the Holy Prophet ﷺ is reported to have said:
’’اَنَا خَیْرُکُمْ لِاَھْلِہٖ‘‘
“With regard to dealing with one’s family members, I am best all of you.”
Through this saying, the Holy Prophet ﷺ has made us aware of his value in a family and good characteristics of a husband.
The success of one’s marital life is as much dependent on one’s righteous and pious wife as one’s good behaviours and moral characters. When asked about a pious wife, the Holy Prophet ﷺ responded:
“When her husband sees her, she causes him pleasure.”
“She obeys him when he commands to do anything.”
She does not causes any displeasure to her husband based on the way he deals with his with regard to her chastity and his husband’s property.”
The Holy Prophet ﷺ appreciated the women of Quraish only because they are kind to their young ones and who look after their husband’s property.”
Last but not the least, for the success of one’s marital life and establishing an exemplary social life, it is must that the spouses realize each other’s rights and be utmost cautious with regard to them and try to fulfill the rights required from them to each other at its best, or else, it is of no avail to have a successful marital life having loaded one of them with fulifilling only his/her responsibility.