’’عَنْ اِبْنِ عَبَّاسٍؓ اَنَّ رَسُوْلَ اﷲِ ﷺ اَذِنَ فِیْ ضَرْبِ النِّسَائِ فَسَمِعَ مِنَ اللَّیْلِ صَوْتًا عَالِیاً فَقَالَ اِنِّیْ لَا سْمَعُ صَوْتاً فَقَالُوْا یَا رَسُوْلَ اﷲِ اَذِنْتَ فِیْ ضَرْبِ النِّسَائِ فَقَالَ رَسُوْلُ اﷲِ خَیْرُکُمْ لاِھْلِہٖ وَ اَنَا خَیْرُکُمْ لِاَھْلِیْ‘‘ (رواہ بن ماجہ )(
Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbas ؓ narrates that once Allah’s Apostle ﷺ permitted to beat the women. When he heard the voice of women’s crying at night, he asked what it was all about. The people replied that it was because he ce he permitted to beat the women. It was then that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said, “The best of you are those who are good to their family and myself is best of you for my family.” (Ibne Majah)
Explanation:
As how to make the marital life successful? There are a number of instructions given by the Holy Prophet ﷺ at several occasions in this regard following which we can make our lives the example of Paradise.
The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) is reported to have said:
خَیْرُکُمْ لاِھْلِہٖ وَ اَنَا خَیْرُکُمْ لِاَھْلِیْ
“The best of you are those who are good to their family and myself is best of you for my family.”
What the Holy Prophet ﷺ first said is that pious woman is a best asset, hence, she should be valued and be treated nicely.
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّی اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِ الدُّنْيَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ۔ (نسائي ، احمد)
Hazrat Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-A’s narrates that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said: “The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.”
In fact, metaphorically, the spouses (husband and wife) are two wheels of the vehicle of the marital life. It will be in motion only if these two wheels are functioning well, or else, it will be cause a great problem. Hence, the Holy Prophet ﷺ recommended the husbands to treat their wives nicely and take their due care, bear their crookedness, overlook their lapses, pay their dower, fulfil their rights, enter the house with a smile, encourage them, co-operate them in house-hold chores, appreciate their struggles, present them with some gifts every now and then, be kind to them, joke with the and never be angry with them. However, practically, the Holy Prophet ﷺ taught how to lead one’s life in a good manner.
Appreciation:
It appears in a tradition that whenever a food was served before the Holy Prophet ﷺ, he would keep silent if he did not like it and remove it before him and utter nothing with his tongue, but if he liked the food he would appreciate saying, ‘The food is nice and delicious.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Taking interest in chores:
It was the blessed Sunnah of the Holy Prophet ﷺ that he would co-operate his family members in house-hold works like milking the goat and patching the clothes. It was really not an ordinary thing to any work by on his own in his house being a Prophet who had been sent to guide the whole world. Truly, there is a great lesson for today’s husbands. (Ahmad, Ibne Habban, Baihaqui)
Giving gift, a means of developing love:
The Holy Prophet ﷺ is reported to have said, “You must exchange gifts with each other, it foster love between.” (Kanzul Ummal) Exchanging gift does not necessarily mean that it should be given only to the men, it may also be given to our wives as they the best partners of our life.
Expressing one’s love to his wife:
It also appears in many traditions that the blessed companions of the Holy Prophet ﷺ would make a morsel of bread and put it into the mouth of their wives. Apparently, though it seems to be an ordinary thing during taking the food, but it is an effective way to express one’s way to other, since the Holy Prophet ﷺ had already pointed out that one will be rewarded even for this act. (Darmi)
Entering the house:
Sayyidah Ayisha ؓ narrates that the Holy Prophet ﷺ would enter the house majestically with a smile on his face and greet those inside the house.
It appears in another tradition that when the Holy Prophet ﷺ entered the house, he would first perform Miswak. The way he did Miswak is that he would first clean the mouth so that there remains no bad smell in the mouth in case he had eaten anything outside the house. On the contrary, these days, there are many husbands that their mouth smell bad and they say that why can’t they enjoy in their houses. Hence, it is recommended to keep all these things in mind. The first thing the Holy Prophet did when he entered his house is that he would perform ablution (Wudhu).
A pious wife:
The Holy Prophet ﷺ is reported to have said that there are four signs of a pious and righteous wife. He said:
مَا اسْتَفَادَ الْمُؤْمِنُ بَعْدَ تَقْوَى اللَّهِ خَيْرًا لَهُ مِنْ زَوْجَةٍ صَالِحَةٍ إِنْ أَمَرَهَا أَطَاعَتْهُ وَإِنْ نَظَرَ إِلَيْهَا سَرَّتْهُ وَإِنْ أَقْسَمَ عَلَيْهَا أَبَرَّتْهُ وَإِنْ غَابَ عَنْهَا نَصَحَتْهُ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَمَالِهِ
“Nothing is of more benefit to the believer after Taqwa of Allah than a righteous wife whom, if he commands her she obeys him, if he looks at her he is pleased, if he swears an oath concerning her she fulfills it, and when he is awa y from her she is sincere towards him with regard to herself and his wealth.” (Ibne Majah, Tabrani)
عَنْ عَائِشَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّی اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لَوْ أَمَرْتُ أَحَدًا أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِهَا وَلَوْ أَنَّ رَجُلًا أَمَرَ امْرَأَتَهُ أَنْ تَنْقُلَ مِنْ جَبَلٍ أَحْمَرَ إِلَی جَبَلٍ أَسْوَدَ وَمِنْ جَبَلٍ أَسْوَدَ إِلَی جَبَلٍ أَحْمَرَ لَکَانَ نَوْلُهَا أَنْ تَفْعَلَ
Hazrat Ayisha ؓ narrates that the Messenger of Allah P.B.U.H said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. If a man were to command his wife to move (something) from a red mountain to a black mountain, and from a black mountain to a red mountain, her duty is to obey him.” (Ibne Majah)
Jesting and playing jokes:
It appears in a tradition that once when the Holy Prophet ﷺ came to Hazrat Ayish ؓ, he smiled to see her. Seeing it, when she asked him why he was doing so, he replied: O Ayisha! You are as dear to me as one likes to have the mixed dates and honey.” Hearing it, Hazrat Ayisha ؓ was very pleased and responded, “O Messenger of Allah ﷺ! You are too as dear to me as one likes to have honey and butter.” Hearing it, the Holy Prophet ﷺ smiled and said, “The reply of your’s was really very nice.”
Through this tradition we come to know that joking like this with one’s wife also proves to be an effective source to make the environment of house pleasant, or else, why was it necessary that Allah’s messenger uttered such words for his wife and she would respond him in such way?